Have you ever tried stopping in the middle of a jog, just to squat down opposite some blocks of HDB flats and wonder, how many of those units houses truly happy and harmonious families? How many are suffering in silence, combating their lives’ problems alone and afraid?

There are really a lot of people in this world. We can provide an estimate of the number of people on this planet, but that will ultimately be just a statistic. How many human hearts can we come to know and love and touch? Are our own hearts big enough to embrace the world? Some times we cannot even embrace the people in our humble community and society.

Am I being too sentimental? The cynics may well accuse me of that, but regardless, I am only trying to cultivate compassion. Compassion, is what I would consider that highest of all human virtues. Nothing is nobler than compassion. Not even love that the media is shamelessly advertising daily, although love has its merit, it is hardly the purest of virtues.

I am a very religious person. I am religious enough to declare boldly that should I be persecuted, exiled, or slandered because of my faith, I will still continue upholding my beliefs and philosophies in life. That is exactly how confident I am of my religion.

I remember a time when I first gain such intensity passion for my faith; I often challenge others in religious and philosophical debates. With a healthy knowledge of Christianity due to my schooling in mission schools and my own personal research, I was often able to provide comprehensive arguments to establish the superiority of Nichiren Buddhism. (I offer my apologies to my Christian friends for stating such a hard stand. But I do not see the need to mask any of my heartfelt feelings on this blog.)

Over the years, I have had opportunities to shaken many individual’s faith by exposing the many weaknesses in their philosophies. As I reflected on those times, I felt a tint of reproach on my self. I came to realized that it was arrogance that guided my debates. Whereas what I should really be cultivating should be compassion.

The function of compassion is to desire happiness for all. Buddhism teaches that every individual have the potential for Buddhahood within their lives. However, this Buddhahood can only be manifested under the right karmic conditions, and external stimulus. If these factors are not in place, disproving others’ faith will not lead them to happiness, but only to disturb their minds and upset their emotions.

It is for this reason that I ceased to initiate any religious debate. However, propagation is the lifeblood of all religions. If you truly believe something is good and worthy of sharing, and you fail to do so, you are nothing more than a hypocrite. Which is why, although I disapprove of the methods of evangelistic individuals, I can fully appreciate their passion and enthusiasm. All I will do is to bold declare my affiliations and announce my willingness to share my faith if anyone is interested. However, if you are not interested, I can guarantee that I will not bombard your senses unnecessarily.

= = = = =

When it comes to happiness, everyone has a different concept. A dictionary says that happiness means a fulfilled state of life in which one feels happy. This definition, however, is quite vague. Some may say, “If I’m satisfied with my current way of living, I’m happy.” Others might say, “If I desire too much, there will be no end to it. That is why I feel I am satisfied with the way my life is.” Still others can say, “Because I’m healthy, financially blessed, and have a nice family, I am happy.” Such happiness, however, will collapse when they fall ill, meet with accidents, or encounter troubles in daily life. Instead of happiness, they will experience unhappiness. To put it another way, happiness that depends solely on favorable circumstances can never be guaranteed. Such happiness can collapse any time one’s surroundings change.

Some people say that as long as you make the effort, you can become happy. But effort without knowing the ultimate purpose in life is like piloting a boat in the middle of Pacific Ocean without a compass or chart. People who believe in the efficacy of self-achievement have a shallow, overly optimistic view that someday everything will come together for them. Their viewpoint is based on their superficial confidence in their own ability to achieve happiness; it is just like being in a boat that may capsize at any moment when the waves of obstacles arise. When all is said and done, true happiness is a powerful feeling that wells up from the depths of one’s life, accompanied by an absolute sense of confidence and fulfillment – a life condition that can never be destroyed by outside forces.

The ‘reality’ of one’s environment or surroundings is only a means to happiness. It is not the foundation of happiness itself. Actually, the source of one’s happiness is found only within oneself. So even if you are plagued by suffering and sorrow, if you live a life in which you make every possible effort to express your fullest potential in the manner that best suits you, you will bring find supreme happiness. As you struggle to bring out this highest potential, no matter what difficult situations you may experience along the way you will without fail come to feel a true sense of fulfillment at being able to live a happy life. Nichiren Daishonin’s Buddhism alone enables one to express one’s full potential and tap the ultimate, indestructible state of life, or enlightenment.

= = = = =

Morigasaki Beach

With my friend by the shore
Morigasaki
Pungent seaside smell
Waves withdrawing

Nineteen-year-old boys
Pondering what path to choose
Philosophical talk
As the hours go by

My friend troubled
Always so poor
“The way of Christ
Is the one I’ll follow!”
Eyes flashing keen in the moonlight –
To that firm heartbeat
The waves rolled in

On the crumbling embankment
Grasses grown thick
Voices of insects – what kind I don’t know
Tonight we shall fashion
Poems and songs?
Music with a tone
Of ancient court times?

But my friend stands silent
What way should I choose,
That my life may wing away
To far-off gardens of the moon?
He wipes away the tears, sighing

My friend in lonely sorrow
I too
But with one boundless aspiration:
Make a promise with me
We’ll face life
Whatever pain it brings!
My friend smiles
“I’ll go along with that!”

That far-off world
My friend is seeking –
A different one
But I too have my Way
A long song on a stage
That never ends
Till hair turns white,
Talking with the moon

I wish you all luck
My friend!
Next time we meet –
When will it be?
Wordless we depart
Upon our separate journeys
Silver waves sway gently
Morigasaki

Hours and hours of painting the bamboos and flowers onto the japanese summer robes, our costumes for the Youth Culture Festival is finally ready for the Full-Dress Rehearsal tomorrow!! All 120 of them. ~ Tired... Zzzz

Yay!!

We won the Community & Youth Services(Team) category of the Singapore Youth Award 2005. Let us continue to work harder and strive to serve our communities better.

*Beaming with Pride*

Like the sun
Always bright in heart,
Like the sea
With a heart vast and wide,
Like the sky
With a heart unendingly tall,
Like the flowers
With a heart forever beautiful,
Like the wind
With a heart set on happiness,
Be free!

Sharing a moment of comradeship in Sentosa as the members of ASD invaded the beautiful beaches with our laughter and joy on 18 June 2005.


Something needs to be recovered from the sea?


Some saltwater maybe?


A seashell with my name on it! How cool is that?

I finally had a few days of uninterrupted holiday. Determined to use these holiday valuably, I revisited my studies on religious and philosophical history which I held a vast interest. It had been a wonderful experience.

I recalled my final major project with the NTUSD before I graduated from NTU. I lead a research into the histories of Judaism, Christianity and Islam. It had brought a new level of understanding of their relationship with one another and their various denominations. It also allowed me to renew my conviction in Nichiren Buddhism as the key philosophy that could provide the harmonizing factor among the various schools of thoughts.

The study of history is not simply because of our wish to know more about events of the distant past. What is more important is to seek parallels to our current concerns which will result in fresh insights.

Shakyamuni, who was the first historically recorded Buddha, appeared at the same period of time as other great philosophers such as Socrates in Greece, Confucius in China, and Deutero-Isaiah, whose thoughts exerted an important influence upon Christianity and the Judaic world. This seemingly coincidence can only be the result of the nature of human society at that time.

It seemed that during that era, ancient civilizations had started to undergo a general cultural revolution that resulted in a material orientated society. The byproduct of such a culture can only be epicureanism, nihilism, and decadence.

When we observe our world today, we can observe similar trends of such culture because of the unexpected rapidity in which industrialization and commercialism had advanced.

Thus, I cannot help but feel a sense of pride in being a member of SGI and SSA, which based on Nichiren’s exposition on Buddhism, is striving to provide a philosophy that can cope with the phenomenal growth of science and technology in term of its relations to the human spirit. For that, I am eternally grateful.

I do not begrudge my life,
but where are the young standard-bearers?
Can you not see Fuji's summit?
Rally now, quickly, in growing numbers!

~ Josei Toda

Beckie in the prototype costume... Looking good!

The band had been practicing hard for the past hour producing delightful sounds that charmed everyone who walks by. It had been a fruitful practice. At this moment, the teacher decided to declare a 20-minutes break.

The girls were excited about their progress and were chattering excitedly. Everyone was eager to share their experience of their struggles over the past 3 months. There was however, an exception.

The lone girl pulled out a book from their bag and drifted away from the crowd. She parked herself in a cozy corner and began reading.

Noticing her, the teacher approached to strike up a conversation. “What are you doing here?” the teacher asked.

“I’m reading. I decided that time is precious and I must continually expand my mind.”

Smiling, the teacher replied, “While it is important to read good books to expand your mind, you should, at this time, join the other girls and expand your life.”

= = = = =

I remember being given the nickname “Acrobat Reader” by Kevin because I read too much. I am talking about 200-pages per day rhythm. I am amazed by what I’d done now that I recall it. I had totally given myself to the expansion of my mind that I forgot to expand my life. I generalized and categorized everything that I see and do. Deriving systems from every situation and processing everything mechanically. I studied great works of literacy without emotions. I read the words of Leo Tolstoy, Victor Hugo and Alexander Dumas without understanding their lives’ testimonies. I was simply a reader.

Recently, I started to realize that I had fallen to the other extreme. I read too little now. I struggled to finish 100 pages each day now. I spent too much time in idle chatter and pursuing frivolous goals. I neglected my personal human revolution and my vow for Kosen-Rufu.

I believed it is time to realign myself again. I must demonstrate culture.

It is difficult to define something like “culture”. Many scholars had attempted but none had given it a meaning that embraced its totality. Personally, culture is the manifestation of wisdom.

Wisdom is not an image of an old man who understands everything. Wisdom is the continual process of self-improvement and character cultivation. Culture is growth.

Culture is as old as civilization itself. Since ancient times, culture had evolved from primitive rituals to war-dances to industrialization affecting populous psychology, philosophies, social ethics and morals, politics and education. Today’s culture is distinctly consumerism and materialism. This social model cannot be sustainable because it drains spirituality and leans heavily on the flux of change and emotion relativity.

Culture must evolve. It must serve a revolution of values and global humanism. To evolve culture is to possess wisdom. It is wise to constantly set out on a conscious exploration to seek the answers to eternal verities.

I stand at the vanguard!

= = = = =

We have no need of any sect
Valorously transcending the obstacles
Of narrow partisanship, of cliques,
As human beings
As stark-naked human beings,
Live, move and for the sake of the joyous new society
Fight, young people!
And I too will fight!
The sect of non-sectarianism
The sect called human being which is no sect at all—
Let us call this the Human Party

~ Daisaku Ikeda

I felt so much pity for the old lady in the latest episode of “Desperate Housewives” as broadcasted here in Singapore because she had neither family nor friends to depend on and had to rely on a neighbor who doesn’t like her very much. I started asking myself about my family and friends.

I love my mother. She’s a wonderful woman. Yet, I cannot say that I communicate very well with her. I just don’t know how and it’s frustrating. I see my brother about once a month and I’m talking less and less with my sister since… I don’t know… since we started to live on our own when we were undergrads? And to top it off, my fucking father is rotting in jail! There is definitely room for improvement huh…

And to my aunt had the cheek to ask money from my mum just because you visit my father a bit. I know there’s no way you will read my blog, but the finger a few post down is for you. No one bullies my mum and gets away with it…

Friends who had influenced me greatly… hmm… there are many and this list is definitely not exhaustive. But I’ll write out a sample.

CL – [I don’t fucking remember how you look like anymore. ]
SH – [You had to drop out of school and be admitted to IMH!! What the fuck happened? Why don’t I know? ]
ZJ – [You just have to pass away in an automobile accident riding your stupid motorbike rite? Damn you!!! ]
WD – [Where the fuck are you? A year stay in USA and poof! ]
DC – […]
AT – [Sorry to confess, but you’re the reason I don’t like JJ very much. ]
TX – [Friendster sux big time huh…]
QF – [I felt so totally betrayed by you yet I cannot muster any hate. Ya… I’m weak. ]
HS – [After so many years, all we can do and nod and smile when we see each other. ]
KM – [Working till 11pm each nite? Pls lo… do something about it…]
CT – [The one who came closest to how my mind works but chose to leave. ]
JH – [I have no idea what you are chasing, really…]

Honestly, I don’t know how much to trust friendship. The days of Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei are long gone. But I miss every one of you still… There are 3 categories of friends: Friends for wining and dining; Friends for knowing the heart; Friends for sharing of dreams. How many of each do I have left? I don’t know.

When I was told by Huichen that a colleague decided that I was the “ham-sam-est” when shown this photo, I was delighted for a grand total of 5 minutes. That is, until Cindy declared that the person who made that comment is probably a guy, making special emphasis that the opinion of guys and girls differs greatly on this. (Thanks lor.)

I appeal to guys huh?! Maybe I’m better off being a gay then.

I had been thinking that if I were to be asked to list my favorite artistes, I would list Jacky Chueng, Andy Lau, Terry Lin, Phil Chang, Power Station, Air Supply, Westlife, Bryan Adam, Michael Learns to Rock, etc. Erm… noticed that they are all males… Maybe I do have issues. LOL.

I guessed I really shouldn’t make fun of JT for having a large Andy Lau’s poster in his office because I used to have one in my room too! And it’s the half-naked one some more. Yesh… I studied his nipples in details…

I was having this conversation with Audrey where she admitted that she goes go-go over pretty girls like Ruby Lin. And so I replied that I like looking at nice-looking guys like Takeshi and Toro. In the days where there were cassettes, the ones I buy most were the Little Tigers. My sis would listen to their songs and I would look at their photos.

Hey… but I enjoyed pornography (the regular type k!) and female nudity (the high-class type they call art!) too!

Hmm… Maybe the life of a Bi is awaiting me…. *Evil Laughs*

It was a simple fracture. There was nothing complicated about it. But he was allergic to the medicine administered by the doctor. The operation become complicated and he passed away. He was only 15. So was I. I remember the empty seat in his classroom. None of his classmates dared to sit at his seat. Not even when the movement of furniture was called for. His seat remained untouched until we graduated from secondary school. That was my first close encounter with death.

I remember when I was a little boy; I always wondered where the life of the ant goes after I crush it with my fingers. During the science experience in primary school, we took a branch from a mango tree and transplant it. It grew to a large tree. Is the life of the new tree the same one as the parent tree?

We had a short conversation on death on the way home. And you remembered your sorrows, just as I remembered mine. You mentioned feeling numbed by it all. It is understandable. I remember reading: “Modern civilization has attempted to ignore death. We have diverted our gaze from this more fundamental of concerns, attempting to drive death into the shadows. For many people, death is the mere absence of life; it is blankness; it is the void. Life is identified with all that is good: with being, rationality and light. In contrast, death is perceived as evil, as nothingness, and as dark and irrational. The negative perception of death prevails.”

We are taught, in our society to play down death. But death simply cannot be ignored because ultimately, everyone faces death. Only by understanding death can life’s pains be healed. Only by understanding death can life is treasured and lived in an optimum way.

I remember T. We had such good times together working on major projects like the NDPs. He was ever the caring big brother. Once, after a NDP, all the ICs were to write a card for one another. I was too lazy to do it. But T wrote such lovely stuff. And then he passed away. I never had the chance to write him a card. I hate myself then.

I remember ZJ. The closest friend I ever had. My best friend. We were so close that every subtle movement of the eyebrow, every twitch of the lips and we know exactly what each other is thinking about. We grew up together. But we could not grow old together. He passed away when I was serving the NS. And because I was serving the NS, I did not even attend his wake. I hate NS.

I remember TL. My junior in the Gym Core Group. He was the caring considerate man. Always hardworking and determined. An outstanding student who was about to be graduated from Nanyang Polytechnic. And then he passed away. I no longer have the energy to hate by then.

According to the Buddhist view, life is eternal. Hence, death is not so much a cessation of an existence as it is the beginning of a new one. The cycle of life and death is similar to that of the life cycle of food chain, or the water cycle, or any other systems in our ecosystem. Just as we sleep to regain energy for the activities of the next day. Death is the rest, or the return to “potential energy” with is required so that life or “kinetic energy” may be experienced again.

The purpose of going through these eternal cycles of life and death is for us to be happy and be at ease (to have inner peace). View in this light, death is but a natural phenomenon of life. It can be a blessing.

But of course there are those that die young and of an unnatural circumstances. It is dictated in their Karma although such a concept may be difficult for the grieving families to accept initially.

But nonetheless, sufferings are opportunities to eradicate past slanders. Believe that through death, these people will have to opportunity to live their next existence with a more favorable Karma.

Nam-myoho-renge-kyo;
Nam-myoho-renge-kyo;
Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.